Without realizing it at the time, David Deida's The Way of the Superior Man sparked my spiritual development when I first read it in October 2021. Back then, I was looking for foundational clarity on what my role in life required as a partner, father, friend, and man in general - and the book delivered wisdom that accompanied me through the ups and downs of what I would call my journey over the years.

Initially, my then-coach and now friend, Rich Ayling, made me pick up that book. And the recent prompt from another member of the spiritual community I'm part of made me order another (paperback) copy and re-read it.

The number of notes I took right from the first pages on made it clear to me how timeless Deida's advice is, and I decided to share my takeaways across chapters.

Part 1: A Man's Way.

Being in Masculine Essence

Recognizing one's core is essential for stepping into what Deida calls The Way of the Superior Man. That doesn't mean trying to be superior to anyone else in the sense of elevating oneself, but superior to one's own standards and stepping into one's fullest potential.

For men, that doesn't mean having to act from a place of "old school" masculine force (what Robert L. Moore and Douglas Gillette call boy psychology). It means that the greatest gift a man can bring to the world is to act in alignment with his essence. A superior man doesn't only act from his masculine essence, but from a place of integrated masculinity and femininity.

Whether a man's essence is more feminine or masculine doesn't matter when it comes to bringing his gift into the world. The ability to shower the world with his gift comes from his alignment with that essence and from acting from it. It is instead held back by forcing an image of how one "should be" into a false persona.

Acknowledging the Infinity of One's Mission

The masculine error is to think that eventually things will be different in some fundamental way. They won't. It never ends.

What could be seen as a demotivating busting of goals and dreams is actually a liberating acknowledgement of a man's mission.

Because acknowledging the infinity of a man‘s mission means you can be free to show up to and live every day in your fullest capacity without having to reserve or hold back anything for when "that day" comes.

Admitting to that can be scary for men. Because stepping into your truest purpose feels much more uncomfortable than whatever superficial procrastination one might call work or a relationship today.

To feel that, Deida encourages readers to start doing the one thing one would do if there were nothing to wait for for one hour every day. Starting right now.

The Omnipresent Role of a Man‘s Edge

Being comfortable is the enemy of a man's edge. This edge is not universally defined, and it doesn't matter what it is for a man. What matters is whether he leans over it and embraces the discomfort that comes from it: At work, in relationships, in friendships, with oneself.

Making choices that lead to ease and comfort dulls a man's edge. And without sharpness, there's no possibility of penetrating the world and removing layers of superficiality.

Telling your male friends when they are full of shit or have to move on from a decision requires the sharpness of a man's edge.

Sitting in the criticism of your male friends or woman without collapsing requires the sharpness of a man's edge.

Piercing through your different layers of purpose and shedding layers of karma until you arrive at your essential truth requires the sharpness of a man's edge.

Putting the pursuit of one's Mission before the distractions and noise of everyday life requires the sharpness of a man's edge.

Sensing when urgent tasks have to wait because they are in the way of important being requires the sharpness of a man's edge.